Benis

''~this page is about the character. For the pronunciation of the word "penis" when you have a cold, see "benis (cold)"''

Benis is a mischievous bear who owns a cat and unfortunately for the entire world at large, a computer. Benis is the butt of many an unfortunate event, as his calamities have gotten him shitting on the toilet, abusing his cat by accident and even locked up in jail. Benis is an artist on Vortex of Crap, too.

Origins/backstory
Benis

Vortex of Crap sign and "Desdiny"
In the year of 2014, the popular video game "Destiny" came out. At the same time, Benis was signed to Vortex of Crap after Michael Dicksense witnessed his rapping potential (which turned out to be an overdub of a different rapper, since Benis can't rap for shit.) Benis quickly recorded a fucking terrible album called Desdiny which featured him just ranting and saying stupid shit while slapping various parts of his body (usually his lap)

Alan Confinement
In 2015, Alien Isolation came out and it made Benis shit himself in fear. It was so scary Benis decided to record an EP and it was actually funny and good

The Shitting Incident
on Christmas day, Benis ate fire. This caused him to shit and shit all night, so when this happened, he hired a band to play outside his bathroom door while he sang and coughed.

Jail time for Benis Boy
Benis abused his cat Rilfer Gomsby so he called the police. He tried to run away from the police but was distracted by a chonty ruffle so they got him.

Personal life
Benis does nothing but eat noodles, shit and abuse his cat, Rilfer Gomsby.